365 days of writing

Minus three or four. I guess I did it. Not like I had any doubt. It’s all in the head. Winning happens before the challenge. Finishing it is just a matter of time.

This was also the very first year-long challenge. One important note/lesson would be to start such challenge at the start of the year, not in a middle. It makes counting less confusing. Because I totally forgot when I began it.

Reason for such challenge was simple. Desperation. At least part of it.

I have this website. Made it with big goals and dreams. Wrote few posts. No consistency at all. Big gaps between posts. I probably had more fun redesigning the website than writing posts. Which reminds me that this design still sucks.

Not to mention that role/goal of this website is still not clear. No, this won’t be a personal development website, like I thought it would be. Also not a website where I publish awesome short stories that are set in my fictional world. Good idea though.

Desperation, might really be the right word. I made this website to get some personal stuff out of my system. When it worked and was done, next idea was to monetize this website. That failed. Places where I learned about post writing and monetization, didn’t vibe with me at all. I simply didn’t wrote like they did. All that planning and crafting for a week or two.

Long-ass posts that give tremendous value. Sure, but posts about what? Something you like and enjoy. Ok, but there are thousands of such posts out there. And yet someone is waiting for your voice and perspective of the same thing. That’s actually true. Despite the amount of information not everyone will make sense to you.

We all talk and write differently. I’ve read the same thing from multiple authors, only one wrote in way I could understand.

So, struggle to write in “proper” way. Combined with obvious dislike for monetization ways. Ads, pop-ups, affiliate marketing aka promoting stuff I don’t know or use.

Plus my immature mind and confused thoughts. Great combination for desperation.

Thus, there was a choice. Retire my website, because I’m obviously not succeeding. Or do a challenge where I write for every day. Challenge it was.

Rules were simple. Write and publish every day. No limit on word count. Write about whatever you want.

Let your mind write in your place, so to say.

Apparently it worked. Is my writing helpful? Maybe, I don’t know. Though, what I know for 100% is that writing in such way is the way.

And it’s also simple. Sit down to write, and allow thoughts to flow through you. Once it’s done it’s done. That’s how I wrote all these posts. Of course it helps when brain is not a mush too.

With time this every day writing became a habit. Just like repeated actions do.

I tried writing in mornings. Later in evenings. Did some batch writing. This was something I wanted to unlock. To be able to sit down and write at any time I want.

I think I succeeded. As you can see from my word usage, I am not exactly sure. However, I can sit down at any time and write something. Which is pretty cool. Fine, I’ll treat it as success.

If post writing wasn’t enough, I wrote a book too. The first draft of the book. November is NaNoWriMo month. Got inspired and did it.

Book is still in the first draft if you are wondering.

Tried a curated newsletter thing too. For two or three months. Partly out of curiosity, partly for the wrong reasons. Wrong reasons being desperation for money (as always). I mean, in my defence, you can earn quite a good money from a curated newsletter.

It was kind of successful. Still stopped it. The workflow was atrocious. I enjoyed writing the newsletter itself, however the process of finding the right stuff to write about was tedious. I appreciate those who read it.

By the way posts became shorter and shorter. I wanted to experiment with short-form posts. Then it kind of stuck. To write long-form posts requires a bit of thinking. Which is sort of opposite of letting the words flow by themselves.

I noticed the longer I write, the bigger chance to shift midway to some other topic. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. But it also was on the verge of becoming a journal entry. And this website is not a public journal. It’s more of a me-trying-to-figure-out-what-I-want-to-say-to-you situation.

Believe it or not, I’m still not good at expressing my thoughts. Despite writing for every day for a year. It is sort of rooted in my belief that whoever reads my stuff, is not interested in my random thoughts. Which is what my writing is. A brain fart of unorganized thoughts.

From my perspective I’m finding these thoughts not useful to you, the reader. Thus I am projecting this perspective onto you. Which is quite dumb, because I am deciding the value of my writing in your place. Only you can decide the value of what you consume.

Talking about organization. I found a cure. Well, more of a possibility. A way to actually organize my notes and thoughts. It is a mix of Luhmann’s Zettelkasten system, and a program called Obsidian. I’ve been tinkering with it for the past month. Hence the culmination of the Brain Farts. Totally nonsensical stories.

Which is part of something else, I’m trying to wrap my head around, called Transmedia. I’m fully aware that these stories were meant fill the daily post goal. I apologize to myself and to you.

What’s next

I will enjoy not writing posts for a while. Knowing me, most likely for two or three months. I would like to redesign website again. Without a rush this time. To take my sweet time even if it takes a year to do that.

Outside of the website it will be a note and thought organization galore. That should lead to some cool stuff.

Next year-long challenge if it will happen, then it will happen next year. Starting at a proper time, ehm.

Obviously I’m not retiring this website. A small overhaul should be expected, though. Which would include deleting completely nonsensical posts. That’s what I do, I delete or throw out stuff I don’t like anymore.

Anyway. Thank you for reading.