It always starts somewhere
Since I plan to redesign this website at some point, I thought it would be interesting for my future self to read how I made this version of the website. And maybe it will help for someone as a shortcut for their own decisions.
This was my second real attempt to create a website. First time I tried to make a website when I went through an affiliate training. An idea to make money online was tempting. Everything was fine, but I chose the wrong niche and my mindset was narrowly focused on money. All fell apart but I learned quite a lot anyway. Design of that website was atrocious. I picked a highly customizable theme, but I tried to do things that was far out of my expertise. I think I made that website in couple of weeks, because time was of essence. But rushing doesn’t lead to great things. And that website lived for a month maybe. After I failed, I knew that I was onto something. I liked to write blog posts, educate myself about things I didn’t know and share what I had found. But I suppose that time wasn’t right yet. This revelation happened five years ago.
From that failure I learned that I really, really want my own website. But I had no idea what to put on it. I also learned that choosing and focusing on a small niche would be a death sentence to me. I see sense in it, but for me it’s awfully limiting. For that affiliate marketing training as my niche I chose Acne. I had acne and I wanted to learn more about it, so why not. They said to narrow your niche as small as possible and to focus keyword rich posts only in that niche. I don’t know how it works for others but it burned me out. I researched and wrote posts about acne for a month, but there is only that much information before you start taking content from other people blogs. Of course I learned a lot about acne and that knowledge helped me tremendously in my future experiments, but to write only about one thing was boring. And all information about acne goes in circles anyway. Focusing on keywords was interesting at first. But it also became more of a nuisance. Yes, I know focusing on keywords is good for google bots and seo, but if I must spend extra time to specifically choose these specific keywords to put in content…yeah, no.
So for five years. Wait, no, more like for four and a half I kept my website at a distance. But close enough to play with ideas what I would do with it. When I worked my ass off to be at peace with bullying that happened ages ago, it dawned on me. Maybe just maybe I could put my experience with bullying online. Next immediate thought was, Nop, no and no and no. It was too painful for me. And no one would care about it or read it anyway ( joke’s on me, because no one has read it yet ). But that idea never left me and it was a beginning for something.
And so, while I tried to fix my mind, I found three more annoying experiences that dragged my life down and had to be let loose. Now I had four stories I knew that I will need to share. Because I couldn’t let them loose by keeping them inside. At first I thought of putting them somewhere else online. Create a free blog account or something like that. Then I thought, if I’m putting them online then I’ll do it in a proper way. So at that moment I had found what to put on my website. But it wasn’t enough to start thinking about it seriously. Ok, four stories about my anxieties that haunts me, done, what else? Idea about niche came from nowhere. I took it and thought about it. By that time I already had partly figured out what I want to do with my life.
Let it be written down that I at age of 28, finally figured out what I want to do in this life. Better late then never, right?
Putting myself in some niche wasn’t exactly my goal. Sure you can easily put me and what I will be doing here in a niche, but it will be a broad one. So I decided to simply do my thing, which as it happens was personal development. At that time I wasn’t really the bravest person to share my thoughts, and putting them for everyone to see was panic inducing. And I also didn’t had enough money to start a website. While I waited for money to magically appear, I worked on my bravery.
Small step thingy doesn’t always work with me, so to practice sharing I created Instagram account and uploaded couple of my silly drawings. I didn’t die, yay. Then under drawings I began to write short stories, which I like to call mini stories. I didn’t die again, double yay. I was like, hell, maybe I can actually do this. And I decided to publish real short stories on my future website too. To really cement this thought in the universe I began to wrote my shameful anxiety stories for real this time. I’ll admit that it took few months to write them. Around that time I began to look at hosting services also.
Continue reading in Part 2