Take a break

Eat snickers, my man. Do you know how to rest? I’m starting to doubt my knowledge in this sphere. I know when I should rest. While at the same time I am under pressure that I must do something.

Because doing nothing from the outside looks like … doing nothing. The same pressure I feel when I’m in thinking mode. Oh, you are not moving. You are doing nothing.

Basically I have this inner belief that if I don’t move I do nothing. To be honest, I have no idea where it came from.

Partly it could be quite ancient. From the time I was sucked in games. Which doesn’t mean I hear nothing. I would say that doing something is constantly moving around. Working. Hustling. Being in constant action. It is also combined with earning money. If you don’t move you don’t earn money. That’s what my family and people around me did all the time.

Combine it with a feeling of guilt from the time I had no job and played games. We have an anxiety. I never looked at this way. Most of the time it was just an annoying feeling. Called anxiety. Ta-daa.

I suppose it developed because I had pressure (inner and outer) to earn money, and I sat in front of my PC. Technically not moving aka doing nothing.

Which also leads to another part. My actions are fruitless because they don’t bring income. It adds a sense of urgency that sometimes overrides my patience. Thus if my current thing I’m doing doesn’t bring “instant” income, it sends a signal to my brain that it sucks and I suck. Do something else. Or you know the old “Get a real JOB.”

It in turn creates gazillion frantic loops. Which I keep chasing in turns. Well, if I look at it from this point of view, it explains how I and other people waste their precious years.

This anxiety appears when I’m around people and I’m “supposed” to do something. Interestingly, it steps back when I’m alone. Alone means no eyes on me. Alone means safe. You can relax. And that is what my mind and body does.

Resting is equally important as doing something. There is “false” resting too. Walking, for example. You are doing something yet nothing. Walking is a meditation. Can you explain it to people who doesn’t understand meditation at all? I’ve been asked if I’m meditating when I’m simply laying on my back. Thinking. No, I’m not meditating. Not at this moment. Thank you.

What to do if you want to rest more than do something? Ask yourself why do you want to rest.

I’ve noticed that resting has a threshold. There is a limited time where you are fine with doing nothing. Sooner or later you will want to do something. Anything. A creative adventure. Reading. Writing. Fixing car. Something you can do without any pressure.

There is a delicate balance between resting and doing. Individual to each person. I apparently don’t know mine yet. Something to explore.

Do you know your balance between resting and doing?